Yes::~
It's Mel here::~
Simon.Irvin has not gone crazy to pretend to be her::~
Hehe::~
Okie::~
I'd like to clarify my side of the story::~
3rd Oct 2009
Mooncake Festival Night::~
1st and foremost::~
I did not expect Chyi to be there::~
And I've always had trouble trying to "layan" both of them at the same time::~
=.="""""
Okay::~
Sorry, I've the bestie/bf issue::~
(>.<)
Anyways::~
I've been having problems facing Simon ever since the breakup::~
I'm trying to detach myself::~
Bit by bit::~
But he kept coming to me::~
Day after day::~
Part of me wanted him back::~
Cuz he was being everything I've ever wished for::~
Sweet... sensitive...
But part of me was so angry at him for being so good to me::~
He became what he is now because he thinks he's losing me::~
Well::~
I guess I was clouded by anger and frustration::~
I just wanted him to leave me be::~
Most of the time::~
And when he brought Chyi::~
I just decided to pick her and kinda hide behind her from him~?
I dunno::~
I was lost::~
I didn't know what to do literally::~
I'm sorry, bi::~
anywayz::~
Here's what happened that night::~
I tried to think of something to do "together"::~
Simon, Chyi, my sisters and I::~
So::~
I suggested that we make candle words::~
By the road::~
So, we competed the words::~
"Dad" and "Mom"::~
So that my parents can see from our 3rd floor sky garden::~
I thought we were having fun by then::~
But I was wrong::~
After we made the words "Dad" and "Mom"::~
I told Chyi to get her camera to snap shots::~
Simon took the pictures for us, as he was a gentleman::~
Little did I know, he was hurting inside::~
After some shots::~
We used the remaining candles to make a heart::~
And I asked to take a display picture 1st::~
Then I helped Chyi take her shot::~
and when I finally offered for a shot with Simon::~
He decided to leave::~
He decided to leave after 2 hours of me mentally avoiding him::~
I felt bad::~
I really did::~
But I scolded myself to keep it together::~
I've been doing alot of that ever since the break up::~
I scolded myself to not open my door for him::~
I scolded myself for crying when we talked::~
I scolded myself for crying when I watch "The Notebook"::~
I scolded myself for crying when I slept::~
I kept yelling at myself to pull myself together::~
To prove that I can be dependent::~
To prove that I'm strong enough::~
To prove that my plan for us will work::~
I held on to the hope that I will not need to feel betrayed ever again::~
I'm really thankful that everything went better than I'd hoped::~
Simon had so many chances to just give up and leave this relationship::~
Instead, he did just the opposite::~
I was granted commitment::~
And not just commitment::~
But also unconditional love and acceptance as well::~
I'm thankful, bi::~
I really am::~
When Simon wanted to leave that night::~
I realized he was exhausted::~
He wanted an answer::~
He wanted reassurance::~
That I still loved him::~
It had hurt for me to see him so frustrated and and tired::~
I was as frustrated and tired too::~
I wanted so much to just yell at him and tell him that all this wouldn't have had to happen if he had been more alert about our relationship::~
I wanted to just beat him up and tell him that I'll never forgive him if he had given up::~
Yet at the same time, he was hugging me::~
And still trying so hard to make me understand how he feels about me::~
Struggling with all the obstacles and challenges I made him face::~
And surpassing all my expectations::~
Yet knowing that no matter how much affections he gives to me, it will not suffice::~
He was hurting inside and I was still giving more blows::~
And when he held me and proposed that he will remain as affectionate as possible::~
I realized I forgave him::~
I found no more anger to keep rejecting his offers::~
Then, I asked Chyi to help me think::~
My mind was exhausted::~
I wanted to give in::~
I just wanted to see him happy again::~
I knew Chyi would know what's left to ask of him before I let him into my life again::~
She asked him whether he would feel in anyway violated mentally to having to giving in to me and doing all the affectionate things for me and to me::~
He said that being affectionate and loving to me was the only happy thing he felt like doing for the past 7 days::~
He said he'll be glad to do it forever::~
It was then where I decided to trust him that he will be committed to his oath::~
His oath to unconditionally love and care for me::~
And so, that's how we're back together::~
:)
Bi::~
You said that I was a gift to you::~
And I knew you were the answer to my prayers::~
We didn't just meet by chance::~
I truly believe we're meant to be::~
Do you~?
It's Mel here::~
Simon.Irvin has not gone crazy to pretend to be her::~
Hehe::~
Okie::~
I'd like to clarify my side of the story::~
3rd Oct 2009
Mooncake Festival Night::~
1st and foremost::~
I did not expect Chyi to be there::~
And I've always had trouble trying to "layan" both of them at the same time::~
=.="""""
Okay::~
Sorry, I've the bestie/bf issue::~
(>.<)
Anyways::~
I've been having problems facing Simon ever since the breakup::~
I'm trying to detach myself::~
Bit by bit::~
But he kept coming to me::~
Day after day::~
Part of me wanted him back::~
Cuz he was being everything I've ever wished for::~
Sweet... sensitive...
But part of me was so angry at him for being so good to me::~
He became what he is now because he thinks he's losing me::~
Well::~
I guess I was clouded by anger and frustration::~
I just wanted him to leave me be::~
Most of the time::~
And when he brought Chyi::~
I just decided to pick her and kinda hide behind her from him~?
I dunno::~
I was lost::~
I didn't know what to do literally::~
I'm sorry, bi::~
anywayz::~
Here's what happened that night::~
I tried to think of something to do "together"::~
Simon, Chyi, my sisters and I::~
So::~
I suggested that we make candle words::~
By the road::~
So, we competed the words::~
"Dad" and "Mom"::~
So that my parents can see from our 3rd floor sky garden::~
I thought we were having fun by then::~
But I was wrong::~
After we made the words "Dad" and "Mom"::~
I told Chyi to get her camera to snap shots::~
Simon took the pictures for us, as he was a gentleman::~
Little did I know, he was hurting inside::~
After some shots::~
We used the remaining candles to make a heart::~
And I asked to take a display picture 1st::~
Then I helped Chyi take her shot::~
and when I finally offered for a shot with Simon::~
He decided to leave::~
He decided to leave after 2 hours of me mentally avoiding him::~
I felt bad::~
I really did::~
But I scolded myself to keep it together::~
I've been doing alot of that ever since the break up::~
I scolded myself to not open my door for him::~
I scolded myself for crying when we talked::~
I scolded myself for crying when I watch "The Notebook"::~
I scolded myself for crying when I slept::~
I kept yelling at myself to pull myself together::~
To prove that I can be dependent::~
To prove that I'm strong enough::~
To prove that my plan for us will work::~
I held on to the hope that I will not need to feel betrayed ever again::~
I'm really thankful that everything went better than I'd hoped::~
Simon had so many chances to just give up and leave this relationship::~
Instead, he did just the opposite::~
I was granted commitment::~
And not just commitment::~
But also unconditional love and acceptance as well::~
I'm thankful, bi::~
I really am::~
When Simon wanted to leave that night::~
I realized he was exhausted::~
He wanted an answer::~
He wanted reassurance::~
That I still loved him::~
It had hurt for me to see him so frustrated and and tired::~
I was as frustrated and tired too::~
I wanted so much to just yell at him and tell him that all this wouldn't have had to happen if he had been more alert about our relationship::~
I wanted to just beat him up and tell him that I'll never forgive him if he had given up::~
Yet at the same time, he was hugging me::~
And still trying so hard to make me understand how he feels about me::~
Struggling with all the obstacles and challenges I made him face::~
And surpassing all my expectations::~
Yet knowing that no matter how much affections he gives to me, it will not suffice::~
He was hurting inside and I was still giving more blows::~
And when he held me and proposed that he will remain as affectionate as possible::~
I realized I forgave him::~
I found no more anger to keep rejecting his offers::~
Then, I asked Chyi to help me think::~
My mind was exhausted::~
I wanted to give in::~
I just wanted to see him happy again::~
I knew Chyi would know what's left to ask of him before I let him into my life again::~
She asked him whether he would feel in anyway violated mentally to having to giving in to me and doing all the affectionate things for me and to me::~
He said that being affectionate and loving to me was the only happy thing he felt like doing for the past 7 days::~
He said he'll be glad to do it forever::~
It was then where I decided to trust him that he will be committed to his oath::~
His oath to unconditionally love and care for me::~
And so, that's how we're back together::~
:)
Bi::~
You said that I was a gift to you::~
And I knew you were the answer to my prayers::~
We didn't just meet by chance::~
I truly believe we're meant to be::~
Do you~?
just passing by :)
ReplyDeleteit's good and touching to see that the both of you connect and linking the heart through blogging.I got special feeling while reading the posts.
wishing all the best to both of you. :D
frm,
Fiona