Nothings Gonna Change My Love For You

钓虾

2009-10-22T08:17:00.000-07:00

回忆过去

2009-10-22T08:09:00.000-07:00

还拥有的时候，只会想着他/她不好的事。
失去的时候，满脑只有开心的回忆。
别等到失去了才后悔，那时可能一切都来不及了。

妒忌

2009-10-18T06:36:00.000-07:00

人，可以因为妒忌而做出一些错事。
为什么人总是在逃避自己的缺点，自己的错，所有自己不好的东西呢？
我们应该要不断地寻找自己的缺点，自己的错，所有自己不好的东西，而从中学习和成长。
与其妒忌别人，我们因该要以那人为榜样，或是超越他。
问一下自己，你有在妒忌着某某人吗？
问一下自己，你所做的事是因为你在妒忌吗？
妒忌变成仇恨是愚蠢的，聪明的应该把妒忌变成力量！

神，谢谢您。

2009-10-18T06:34:00.000-07:00

感谢神给我的忠告。

Yam Cha at de Pastry chef

2009-10-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

11:11 p.m.

2009-10-13T08:11:00.000-07:00

I love you bi~

Mel's Side of Her Story::~

2009-10-05T07:23:00.000-07:00

Yes::~
It's Mel here::~
Simon.Irvin has not gone crazy to pretend to be her::~
Hehe::~
Okie::~
I'd like to clarify my side of the story::~
3rd Oct 2009
Mooncake Festival Night::~
1st and foremost::~
I did not expect Chyi to be there::~
And I've always had trouble trying to "layan" both of them at the same time::~
=.="""""
Okay::~
Sorry, I've the bestie/bf issue::~
(>.<)
Anyways::~
I've been having problems facing Simon ever since the breakup::~
I'm trying to detach myself::~
Bit by bit::~
But he kept coming to me::~
Day after day::~
Part of me wanted him back::~
Cuz he was being everything I've ever wished for::~
Sweet... sensitive...
But part of me was so angry at him for being so good to me::~
He became what he is now because he thinks he's losing me::~
Well::~
I guess I was clouded by anger and frustration::~
I just wanted him to leave me be::~
Most of the time::~
And when he brought Chyi::~
I just decided to pick her and kinda hide behind her from him~?
I dunno::~
I was lost::~
I didn't know what to do literally::~
I'm sorry, bi::~
anywayz::~
Here's what happened that night::~
I tried to think of something to do "together"::~
Simon, Chyi, my sisters and I::~
So::~
I suggested that we make candle words::~
By the road::~
So, we competed the words::~
"Dad" and "Mom"::~
So that my parents can see from our 3rd floor sky garden::~
I thought we were having fun by then::~
But I was wrong::~
After we made the words "Dad" and "Mom"::~
I told Chyi to get her camera to snap shots::~
Simon took the pictures for us, as he was a gentleman::~
Little did I know, he was hurting inside::~
After some shots::~
We used the remaining candles to make a heart::~
And I asked to take a display picture 1st::~
Then I helped Chyi take her shot::~
and when I finally offered for a shot with Simon::~
He decided to leave::~
He decided to leave after 2 hours of me mentally avoiding him::~
I felt bad::~
I really did::~
But I scolded myself to keep it together::~
I've been doing alot of that ever since the break up::~
I scolded myself to not open my door for him::~
I scolded myself for crying when we talked::~
I scolded myself for crying when I watch "The Notebook"::~
I scolded myself for crying when I slept::~
I kept yelling at myself to pull myself together::~
To prove that I can be dependent::~
To prove that I'm strong enough::~
To prove that my plan for us will work::~
I held on to the hope that I will not need to feel betrayed ever again::~
I'm really thankful that everything went better than I'd hoped::~
Simon had so many chances to just give up and leave this relationship::~
Instead, he did just the opposite::~
I was granted commitment::~
And not just commitment::~
But also unconditional love and acceptance as well::~
I'm thankful, bi::~
I really am::~
When Simon wanted to leave that night::~
I realized he was exhausted::~
He wanted an answer::~
He wanted reassurance::~
That I still loved him::~
It had hurt for me to see him so frustrated and and tired::~
I was as frustrated and tired too::~
I wanted so much to just yell at him and tell him that all this wouldn't have had to happen if he had been more alert about our relationship::~
I wanted to just beat him up and tell him that I'll never forgive him if he had given up::~
Yet at the same time, he was hugging me::~
And still trying so hard to make me understand how he feels about me::~
Struggling with all the obstacles and challenges I made him face::~
And surpassing all my expectations::~
Yet knowing that no matter how much affections he gives to me, it will not suffice::~
He was hurting inside and I was still giving more blows::~
And when he held me and proposed that he will remain as affectionate as possible::~
I realized I forgave him::~
I found no more anger to keep rejecting his offers::~
Then, I asked Chyi to help me think::~
My mind was exhausted::~
I wanted to give in::~
I just wanted to see him happy again::~
I knew Chyi would know what's left to ask of him before I let him into my life again::~
She asked him whether he would feel in anyway violated mentally to having to giving in to me and doing all the affectionate things for me and to me::~
He said that being affectionate and loving to me was the only happy thing he felt like doing for the past 7 days::~
He said he'll be glad to do it forever::~
It was then where I decided to trust him that he will be committed to his oath::~
His oath to unconditionally love and care for me::~
And so, that's how we're back together::~
:)

Bi::~
You said that I was a gift to you::~
And I knew you were the answer to my prayers::~
We didn't just meet by chance::~
I truly believe we're meant to be::~
Do you~?

Day 7 without her

2009-10-05T01:54:00.000-07:00

I had breakfast and went Giant with my mum in the morning. We some daily necessities and fruit juice. XD
I ask Weeyan come to my house n play Heroes of Newerth ( something like Dota ) We lost both game!!! So sad~
Then my mum called n tell us there is a Mamak just newly open and all food n drinks is free!
So Weeyan n I went there and eat all we can~ the fried chicken is dam nice, like the Asia Cafe 1...

Bout 6pm I went to play bsb. I planned to go gym but a uncle kept talking to me about his pass.
After he finished talking only I realized its 8pm d. The end I din go gym coz I hv to go Mel's House n celebrate Mooncake Festival with her sisters~

I called Chyi to come along too coz I think Mel will be happy if Chyi is there~
When we reached, Mel was so happy~~~~~~~~~ when she saw Chyi, hmmm Am I invinsible?
NVm~ Then we went into her house, she asked me to chat with her Grandmum but she went upstairs with Chyi. =.=''
After a while her mum asked all of us go up to watch n admire the moon~~ LoL.... Den she asked me to play Plants vs Zombies alone~ Zzzzz
.................................
........................................
More n more sad stuff happened n I dont feel like writing anymore~ T.T

So.................... I will pass to Mel & continue it~~~~~~~~~~~~~

( to be continued )

Day 6 without her

2009-10-02T08:16:00.000-07:00

I woke up early today coz I need to fetch Mel's grandmother to go c doctor.
We wanted to go watch movie but she said she wanna play Plants vs Zombies~ So I taught her the strategy in how to last longer in Survival Mode~ So that she can 'Chuan' her sister~ LoL
I was staying in her house till 4 o'clock~

I slept till 7 after I reach home~ then I went yam cha/dinner with WeeYan.
I told him that I will be going to his church this Sunday~!
After that we went to Tbun n c whether Sunny they all are there anot.
No1 go Tbun~!!! LoL I guess Sunny was working in Ikea~
I got a GameInstaller from a promoter in Tbun~ It's called Pandora Saga~
I tried playing after I reach home, OMG, so boring!!!

Thats all for today, Gotta Continue doing my assignment and wait for my groupmate to send me their work.

Day 5 without her

2009-10-02T07:55:00.000-07:00

Benjamin came n fetch me to college in the morning to do our assignment.
I asked them to write down d table of content so that we can ask our lecturer where the topic is relevant anot~
After we showed Miss Liza, she is very happy with our work.
Every1 promised to send their work to me b4 Saturday 12am~ LoL
I hope they have found direction of doing their own part...
5 of us don't have a very good result but every time we group together, I can feel the teamwork, the motivation that we can still be the best group! Honestly I'm really happy to to work with them.
Do till half way, Ben ask me to send him "Plants vs Zombies" LoL, d end Jimmy and Toh Hong wanted too~ LoL... Hope they can still finish their work on time~~!!!

5something p.m. , I went to play basketball at my area's court. Then fui said wanna go play with HELP student anot in Dai Gong. Hmm, Since Hong wanted to go oso, so I went too...
I palyed with the ppls in Dai Gong, then HELP student, the end we palyed with ppls from China...
Hooo! From 5.30 till 10.40!!!! Super tired!!! But was Fun~!

I wanted to upload some photo from my hp but dunno y i can't transfer my photo from my hp~
So nvm~ I will show u when I meet u~

Love u Bi~

Day 4 without her

2009-09-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

Bi~ Today I wanna post my Cameron Highland Trip n show u~
You were not in the trip but I swear I missed you~

1st Day
We gather at Jack's house in the morning 1st. Ken asked me whether I can drive anot
coz his car will not be stable going up hill. its okay~ I can drive~ XD
So i fetch Hui Mun, Ccl and Boonchie ; Jack fetch Smallvoice, Ai Ling and Kent.
Halfway we drop by a waterfall n we took some photo there before we continue to Cameron.
Our apartment is dam nice! ( I think~ )
The Girls started packing all the food we brought up, Guys did help too~
We had steamboat around 5.30pm~~~ dam full~~~!
Actually we supposed to do our assignment there but Ai Ling told that us we have a new complete drawing.
So we can't do our measurement till we get our new drawing~ LoL
Means? We can enjoy for this 3 whole day!!!
We went Pasar Malam~
I suggested to have a beer session, btw I think they were waiting for some1 to voice out 1st.
Its okay~ I can be the 1~ LoL
We bought 10 large bottles of Tiger. It was fun!!! I hope every1 enjoy...

2nd Day
Ai Ling cooked breakfast for all of us~ Thx Ai Ling, She is our Da Jie to take care of us...
We went Butterfly Garden, Cactus Garden, Bee farm then pasar malam again~ XD
AT night we BBQ!!!
Small Voice brought only 5 starters. Actually it's enuf but the charcoal is not the normal type of charcoal.
It's the thick thick 1 usually used by the ppls who cook Charqui ( 肉干 ).
So Ai ling n I went to the shop nearby n buy. Luckily they have it!
We used almost 30 starters~
I burn my hand coz I wanted to move a charcoal. I tot it's not hot coz is still in black colour~ LoL
BoonChie, Ccl and Ken went back to apartment 1st coz they felt very tired d~
5 of us still enjoying cooking all our food~ XD
We went home around 2something~

3rd day
Nothing much today, we went to Pasar Pagi n bought strawberries & Vegies~
Then We started coming back after we had our lunch~

Day 3 without her

2009-09-28T22:24:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up at 8 coz I promised her grandmom to bring her eat breakfast.
Before we eat, Mel took photo with me. & the cake I bought~
Then we went Gam Lun Tai to eat Dim Sum.
I hugged her before I go, I hope that she can feel the warmth~

Time passed very fast, then I went college to meet up with my courseworkmate.
We only discussed for like Half an hour n we decide to do it in Jack's house to9.
Coz most of them are hving meeting later~
Hmm, Hope we can finish 80% by to9~ XD

WH n I went gym at 3 o'clock~ I wanna lose weight!!! My target will beeeee erm.. 67kg la!
Wanted to play basketball but was raining~
I called her to email me the photo we took this morning but she dun wan me to upload them here. Its okay, I will keep them safely.

Hmm.. Year 2011, I think I'm still studying for my last semester of degree~
How about her? Msia or Aus~? I think most probably in Msia~
When I chat with her just now, I can feel that she dun really wants to talk to me.
So I better dun call her so often.

Will be sleeping over at Jack's house later to do assignment, I will miss her to9~

'一想起，在累也是要做人。'

Day 2 without her (cont.)

2009-09-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

I kept thinking what should i buy for her on her bday~
The end, i decided to burn a meaningful song into a CD as her Bday present.
For extra~ Weng Hong reminds me to buy a cake~ Thx wh~

Before i went to her house, I ask Ching (Mel's sister) come out n get the cake later coz I tot she won't wanna c me~ surprisingly She came out n get the cake n chat with me. We walk around the housing area, I was trying to get her back but I failed. So the end we still go back to the same plan.
Its okay~ I'm sure I can use this 2 years to prove to her that I can wait for her.

Anyway, I hopes that she will likes the song - Nothing's gonna change my love for you, and the cake!!!
Happy Birthday Bi~!

Day 2 without her

2009-09-28T02:49:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 8am, I'm worried~

When I reach her house, she still lock herself in her room. Then her grandmother came and help me. her grandmom is so cute~ She lie to her that she dunno which medicine to eat just to make her open the door.

After a while finally she open. I pass the letter I wrote to her coz I really dunno how to talk. The end she still can't forgive me~ She proposed something to me, she said we will meet only after 2 years. She actually wrote a commitment letter to me and I accept her decision.

Then I talk to her Grandmom, I told her that we can only be friends now n I promised her that I will still bring her out for lunch. She told me lots stuff like she likes me n stuff. I know, I actually treat her like my own grandmom d~

Before I went home, I hug her for the last time in this 2 years.

I"m sure we can be together after 2 years. 28 September 2011 will be a Big Day for us! I hope that she still love me after 2 years n I promiss here Nothings gonna change my love for her~

Everythings are Settled! I gotta concentrate on my study from now. I went to college in the afternoon to discuss our assignment with jack, jimmy and ben~
What now~? Basketball! Gym! Assignment!

Day 1 without her

2009-09-28T02:34:00.000-07:00

Today is the 1st day after we broke up. I drank a lot yesterday but I was still sober n my mind is all her. I'm the 1 who told her that I wan a break coz recently we kept arguing. I should not aspect her to change str8 right~? I'm too forcy, I regret after I made that decision. I kept calling her but she dun wanna pick up. T.T

I talked to Chyi(her bestie), Nicole, WengHong and Hui Mun. The end I decided to go to her house tmr n talk to her. I hope that I can get her back~

I can't sleep~ So I opened up our photo folder in my com n I printer lots photo of us n I wanna pass to her tmr morning~

Before I sleept, I pray hardly I hope god will bless us.